Southern Graces- Last Respects

Can you join me with feet under my table today to talk? I’m a southern girl and there are just a few southern graces that still matter. Somehow I’m not sure many of these have been shared with many younger than me. Can we talk about last respects today?

As I get older, visits to the funeral home are becoming more and more frequent. Friends who have left us far too early have passed away. It’s a southern thing to show last respects for those who are no longer with us.

Cathy was a dear friend and former college roommate that I will dearly miss. Gathering for her funeral and dinner hosted by her church brought closure and comfort for many of us.

So, what do I mean by last respects?

Now, it’s a form of honoring those friends and family who have died.

But, truly?

It’s for the family who have lost their family member. A form of respect and honor for the one we have lost, as well.

A support for the family members that we know even if we have never met the one who has passed away.

What do “last respects” look like?

Last respects look like a support system.

Making a point to support the family at the visitation to express your condolences.

Attending the funeral at a church, funeral home, or even online is important.

It’s taking a dish or paper plates to the family or the funeral home or for a meal afterwards. Even if it’s fried chicken from the Food Giant or pimento cheese sandwiches for the family at the funeral home. However you feel that empathy and support can be shared by you leaves an impact of your love and care.

A cinnamon roll cake has been delivered on more than one occasion for families in grief. Somehow something sweet works when nothing else is desired.

Quite frankly, there are loaves of zucchini bread or pumpkin bread wrapped and ready in the freezer in times when others need to be loved. Aunt Helen’s marinated salad is one that is often delivered or taken to an after the funeral family meal…which is what we southerners do, too.

Sharing time together at a family home is important.

It’s sending flowers or a tree to be planted or a donation to their favorite charity.

But, here’s the part of last respects that I wanted to share today…

As I drove down the interstate today for an appointment, on the other direction side of the four lane highway was a state trooper car with their flashers on.

Behind them?

The hearse bearing a casket and family and friends following behind with their flashers and lights on.

Another officer with flashers ended the processional from the funeral to the cemetery.

You see, that’s what southerners do.

Part of the last respects is to honor the body as its moved to the cemetery and pay respects to those grieving in the line behind.

On a normal highway…that looks like pulling over to the side of the road and stopping until the processional passes. Even if they are going an opposite direction. It’s just last respects.

Traveling on a two lane state interstate?

That means you DO NOT PASS the funeral processional.

You follow behind.

Not passing the processional…which truck drivers and cars did.

Maybe they were unaware…or didn’t care?

My heart hurt for those in that processional making their way to “lay their family member or friend to rest”.

Where is the empathy in our world today?

Are our lives that busy that it requires us not to be respectful?

Now, if you live in a part of the country that you’ve never heard of this? If you are traveling in the south and see a funeral processional…please pull over or stay behind them.

Take a few moments to be respectful of one who was loved and those who are grieving.

Empathy is important.

And that’s why this part of southern graces, last respects, and tradition means a lot to me.

As I’ve been one in the funeral processional, it has meant a great deal to see others stopped out of respect for that movement.

It did again, last week as we proceeded to the cemetery as part of a family processional.

I’ve been thankful to be the recipient of that love and pay it forward when others have been in my path.

Think about it, friends.

Perhaps sharing southern tradition will make the world a better place for all of us.

Thank you, dear friends who are joining me here among the pages. And if you are still dealing with grief from losing ones close to you…you are in my prayers.

Lovingly,